For many people, the holidays are truly "the most wonderful time of the year." They delight in planning, decorating and shopping for gifts. They look forward to spending time with their family and friends. For these lucky folks, the holidays are a magical experience filled with love and holiday cheer.
But for others, like myself, the holidays can be an emotional trigger for current events such as estrangement, unemployment, illness or the death of a loved one. For some of us, the holidays will never be the same again. And being bombarded by the excess of the season can be overwhelming and gut wrenching. Not everyone has family or friends. Not everyone can afford to buy gifts. And not everyone has pleasant memories of the holidays.
In my case, this year marks the 9th Christmas since I've seen my grandchildren or my two sons. Seeing all the toys displayed front and center in the stores is a painful reminder of this void in my life. From now until January, I have to yet again find a way to avoid these triggers.
It is also a reminder of what will never be again. Many of my family members have passed on, and my children are no longer little. The only family member in my life right now is my daughter. She is a wonderful blessing, but she can't replace the loss of my father, my grandparents and many others who are no longer with me. Or the hole in my heart from the estrangement of my sons. The added pressure of trying to make the holidays special for her only adds to the stress of the season.
But there are others beside me who are struggling with poverty, homelessness, chronic diseases and/or loneliness. No wonder there is a high rate of depression and suicide during this time of year. Being surrounded by the holidays only magnifies the stress of these conditions.
Now, I'm not saying to cancel the holidays – or to rid the stores of their displays. I’m just asking to please be aware that not everyone is going to have a “Happy Holiday.” And maybe to reach out during this season of giving to those who are hurting and need our help.
I'm not sure when my situation will ever change. With the added financial stress of unemployment and another Christmas without all my children & grandchildren together, this woman is having a difficult time this year. “Bah humbug” has become my protective shield against the heartache.
But for those of you with loving families and stable financial situations, I wish you the best this season! Remember to count your blessings for those of us who have lost a few.
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